...unexpected ranting...

"No One Wants to See Round Women"

said Chanel genius, Karl Lagerfeld recently.

And, according to French Vogue, blackface... "what's the big deal?"

Every one is all a-flutter about the fashion industry's exclusionary practices and often offensive images of women. Me... not so much. The fashion industry is elitist and generally intolerant of all women, not just "round" ones. Models are never skinny enough and always beautiful but... "her eyes are too wide" "too close together" "her hips are too big" "her face too angular" "too round." WTF ever.

I don't care what anyone says, the fashion industry does not like women.

So Karl Lagerfield may be an ass and he may be offensive and he may look like a villain from outer space:

but he's not an anomaly. This is how people feel, he's just one of the few who will say it out loud. And for that I say kudos to you Mr. Lagerfeld, at least I know what I'm dealing with, with your crazy ass. And I totally won't tell anyone that you used to be f-... well, you know:

So if I don't have an issue with that, why this post? Well first, I've been crazy busy and haven't had the time to blog, let alone think, lately. And this is me getting back into a groove. But secondly, and more importantly, I'm super sick of people attacking the fashion industry for being sizist, or racist, or exoticizing certain women, or stealing from communities of color in a decidedly imperialist manner but being unwilling to look at how these are only more focused versions of what's going on in the rest of the world and what they're doing themselves.

I love all of the tv news shows, especially of the entertainment variety, who reported on this with their anchors liposucked to within an inch of their lives, botoxed beyond recognition and full of saline saying how deplorable his statements were (but not quite emoting their outrage). And then couching the post in between "news" stories about Nicole Richie's post-baby body and who's got the worst cellulite of the summer (random selection of stories not necessarily on air when this ish went down, but... you know).

The point is that we worship certain kinds of images but many of us who rail against them also willingly fall victim to it. We make a big fuss about the media and society circumscribing certain kinds of bodies to women (and men) but then ignore how those bodies (and their attendant conceptions of beauty) are raced and/or how this litmus of perfection allows us to judge other people's characters/lives/behaviors based on their bodies. (And this goes on both sides. We can't make judgments about skinny girls not eating or dieting all the time and falling into the "trap" simply because they're small.) We gotta do better. So until you're willing to check yourself, stop talking. And if you're not sure if I'm aiming this at you, consider:

If you're one of those people who totally nods your head every few months when there's some new scandal about those stick thin, possibly anorexic, models but won't date a girl over a size 6 or makes fun of that girl in the next cubicle for being a "lard ass," SHUT THE FUCK UP! You have absolutely no room to talk. And if you're one of those douches who points out how wrong it is that all of the models in your favorite ad campaign are white but clutches your purse when a Black man enters the elevator, FUCK YOU! You have no room to talk.

Today's message has been brought to you by the word "fuck" and Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream.

Weighing in:

The Awesomeness
The Tastiest

The Saddest- I was going to link to some pics of anorexic models and girls, but that shit is so disturbing and sad that I just couldn't...

...things I like to look at...

I can barely think in coherent sentences most days, which makes those fellowship essays a bit of a chore. But I really don't talk that much throughout the week anyway. Usually I spend a lot of time just staring, watching, hopefully comprehending.

Here's a list of things that I don't mind looking at again and again:

1. Nanami Cowdroy's art:

 

Most of you might recognize the first piece from my laptop and my old ipod (r.i.p Bandit). The Japanese-Australian artist's blending of intricate design to illustrate familiar and foreign themes speaks to me. When I bought my laptop decal at GelaSkins, one person reviewed that with one of Nanami's prints you wouldn't fail to get noticed from random passerby, which has proven true. But even more interestingly to me, you always know when you're looking at a Nanami Cowdroy piece. And not just by the red stamp of her name in the corner, but by the unique interplay of light and dark, and detail,  her signature style.

2. Oakland

Well, pictures of Oakland technically. I'm working on a story right now that I decided, on a whim, to set by Lake Merritt. We lived there for a while when I was in elementary school and I loved it. And living in a city like Columbus (all offense) makes it really easy to miss a place like home. Seriously, as usual I've got a list of things I must see/do/eat when I'm home:

• buying jewelry/knick knacks on Telegraph. I seriously haven't done this in years. Who's down?
• Blondie's pizza- turkey pepperoni. nuff said. no seriously, only in california would a pizza place have pepperoni w/o pork. holla!
• bancroft clothing- i don't know why though
• sushi
• skates... i don't think i really want to drop money like that, but hell... maybe
• monterey bay aquarium- i've never been but we're taking the heathens for Sierra's 7th 'cause I'm coming home!
• Loard's- banana
• taco trucks
• MOAD- i haven't been in a while, might as well see what's new. Who's down?
• Asian Art museum- again, who's  down?
• the fam
• Jean
• Jessica
• the SMC fam
• BART!- hell even AC transit... COTA's got nothing on them.
• saying hella without any flak!
• Nations, but only after a drunken night in Jack London. I'm not even asking, Jean- get ready!
  
• being near water

3. Katrina Fema Jackson

check it

Seriously, she's like free entertainment and since she's kind of crazy, it works....

4. My babies:

Black/Latino in America

So I never, ever, evereverever bothered with CNN's Black in America series. I knew they were going to suck. And they did. They didn't show any of the things that I think non-Black/especially white people in this country need to know.

But now that they're doing a Latino in America series I'm starting to wonder. Should I watch? Soledad O'Brien is questionably Black, but maybe she's just a little more Latina. Maybe they'll say some things I need to hear.

So, what say you? Will you be watching CNN's Latino in America?!

...the asian Spanish teacher?...

NBC's new half hour comedy Community hasn't received too much hype, even though it airs in the channel's coveted Thursday night comedy block. Personally I only thought to give it a try because Joel McHale is funny, but just as soon as I decided to watch it, I forgot about it completely. But I happened to catch Yvette Nicole Brown's interview on The Wendy Williams Show and promptly set my dvr. And thank god I did, because this shit is hilarious.

Sadly, I then immediately forgot that about it again (am I too young for senility?) and missed the second episode. But I was lucky enough to catch the show on Bravo thanks to NBC's media domination. And if it was possible to top the introduction of Abed, the Indian dude with Aspergers, and Chevy Chase as creepy older hippy Pierce who has a bit of a thing for Shirley (Brown), they did so with this little nugget of fabulousness. Meet Senor Chang (Ken Jeong), the Asian Spanish Teacher:

In his first appearance Senor Chang lays it down, getting right to the heart of your Asian stereotypes and the supposed incongruity of having an Asian man teaching Spanish. Because I can't find the clip anywhere anymore (damn NBC and their copyright protections!) I've decided to transcribe it for you.... Seriously! It's that good.

Every once in a while a student will come up to me and ask Senor Chang, why do you teach Spanish? They say it just like that. Why do you teach Spanish? Why you? Why not math? Why not photography? Why not martial arts? I mean surely it must be in my nature to instruct you in something that's ancient and secret like oh building a wall that you can see from outer space. Well I'll tell you why I teach Spanish. It is none of your business ok? Now I don't wanna have any conversations about what a mysterious inscrutable man I am. [plays with imaginary long, white beard] oheheheheheohohohohoh I am a spanish genius. En espanol my nickname is el tigre chino [pretending to bite Shirley's neck] because my knowledge will bite her face off. So don't question Senor Chang or you'll get bit, ya bit, ya bit!... Ok, Friday manana...

At first I wasn't sure where this monologue was going and I am a bit lost on where it ended up. But the more I listened the more I realized that Senor Chang was blowing my mind. All of a sudden, he was killing me softly and I was on the floor dying laughing. "Why not karate?" The "mysterious" Asian man... oh sweet lord in heaven, you like me and this proves it!

Senor Chang's outburst says a lot about how we understand race, nationality and language. I've talked about this before but this dude is so funny that I had to do it again.

Why do his students get all confuddled about having an Asian Spanish teacher? Well, you know... he's Asian first of all. Shouldn't he be teaching Japanese or Cantonese or, you know, some Asian language?
That has got to be one of the dumbest sentences I've ever had to write just because it requires looking at the world with such massive blinders I don't know how you don't run into multiple walls.

But also because comments like these presume that only Asian people speak Asian languages, only Latinos speak Spanish and only someone of a particular racial group should teach that language. This also supposes that you've never looked around you and seen what different kinds of people lay claims to what it means to be an American. And everyone from Norcal knows that when you're in high school you have two foreign language options, Spanish or French. And if you know like I know, Spanish is just barely a foreign language in some parts of the U.S.


So douche... why Senor Chang?


Why the FUCK NOT?