...where's my clicker?...

Well kids, it's that time again. A new fall premiere season is upon us. For those that don't know I'm a serious tv hound/couch potato and this is my favorite time of the year. If I celebrated Christmas, fall premieres would put that sappy holiday to shame!

So, in the spirit of full disclosure here is a list of shows that I'm excited about (and some that I'm really not):

Returning

Heroes- yea, it's confusing and they keep killing off all of the Black people and the Asians are woeful stereotypes but I fucking love Hiro goddammit! ... don't look at me. I'm so ashamed... :-(

House- the white person is the druggie? sign me up!

Lincoln Heights- one word: Chassie. all my tween/teen girls know what I'm talking about... yea. yea... (still ashamed)

Supernatural- technically started last week, but whatever, still excited. Dean- need I say more? thought not!

Cold Case- old mysteries, Tracie Thoms/Anthony LaPaglia... it is what it is.

Castle- Nathan Fillion. that is all.

Smallville- I don't have to explain myself to you!

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia- I love this show. the season premiere was not amazing. I'm excited, but wary...

Law & Order- last season was ridiculous. I never thought I'd say this but Anthony Anderson is a really good actor... gasp!

Medium- fucking cbs nbc. how do you cancel Medium!? it's on nbc cbs now.

Californication- if you don't know you betta ask somebody.

Dollhouse- I thought most of season 1 was a bit... meh, but it's Joss Whedon so I'm hoping they will have fixed the kinks.

Lie to Me- ridiculous!

Better off Ted- one of those dry humor, man breaks the fourth wall shows that works for me... I don't like the Office... even though I wanted to.

New Kids on the Block

the forgotten- actually I don't know how to feel about this one. how do you replace Rupert Penry Jones with Christian Slater? fucking Americans.

Eastwick- another one I'm ambivalent about but I liked the movie so we'll see.

The Vampire Diaries- the books sound atrocious but I was pleasantly surprised by the pilot so I'm giving it a shot.

Melrose Place- I was actually not a fan of the original but the first two episodes weren't bad. besides there's a black girl. there's only one, but sometimes that's all they give us so I have to make it work...

Flashforward- I actually kept running into the descriptions for this one and said no, hell no, repeatedly. some smart exec, however, made me turn my head with the announcement that John Cho was in it. I still said no, but I was willing to listen. then they made me turn around completely: Gabrielle Union was cast on the show? no, no, you will not break me down, goddamn you! and I was holding out pretty strong all summer until I heard that... John Cho and Gabrielle Union's characters were a couple... fucking abc. I'm watchin', I'm watchin'!

Glee- who knew? I'm hooked.

Community- Joel McHale... nuff said...

Shows I Gave Up On/Not Even Trying

One Tree Hill- no Leyton?! No Nicole...

Gossip Girl*- I just can't keep track and the CW doesn't do enough reruns... maybe on dvd... maybe... and where the fuck are the black people? this show has the Friends-itis...

Cougar Town- no. (on a sidenote: did anyone besides me watch Dirt? now that show was crazy)

The Beautiful Life- i tried. the premise was tired as hell.

CSI:NY- i don't know what happened. i used to really love this show. maybe it's just too sleek for me? *shrugs shoulders*

Parks and Recreation- horrible. absolutely horrible. and it really shouldn't be! amy poehler. rashida jones. wtf happened!?

CSI- actually, I gave up on it not 'cause it wasn't good it's just that thursday is a busy (tv) night for me... it's up against some pretty tough contenders... oh larry fishburne... I tried! I tried!

Fringe*- this show was amazing but then fox kept fucking with it's schedule and I lost interest

Ghost Whisperer- Andrea.

Southland*- again I tried. I was not impressed.

Sanctuary- who knew a webseries could be better than the shit they put on tv? I am humbled... and not tuning in.

NCIS- one day I looked up and realized that I couldn't figure out if I'd already seen this episode because EVERY FUCKING NCIS EPISODE IS THE SAME unless it's a season finale... over it!

Never Tried But Maybe on Netflix...?

The Mentalist- my mom likes it. but in my mind simon should be with sanaa on my tv screen... I might have gotten a bit attached to something new...

Sons of Anarchy- I've heard good things but... maybe on netflix.

CSI: Miami- maybe there's just been too much soup criticism of the show (oh horatio) but they had megalyn echikunwoke on it last season so all of a sudden I have a new determination to see what's going down... i'm nothing if not predictable.

Dexter*- technically I saw the first season, but something about the second season never clicked with me... I'll put it on my queue though... why not?

So, these are my obsessions... what are you watching this season?

*- indicates a show that I'm willing to consider for the netflix queue.

...miscellany...

a random collection of thoughts... not one related to the next

• yahoo world news freaks me out. general descriptions of topics/content: middle east: conflict/europe: politics, economics, football (soccer)/latin america: (gang) murder, coups, natural disasters/africa: poverty, hiv/aids, aid... must find new news outlets. do not like cnn... maybe i should just go back to the bbc.
  
• people are lazy: when you push the handicap button the door does open but it takes forever. just use your freaking hands.
• facebook makes me happy. i don't care what anyone (jean) says, it's amazing. i can keep up with friends/get a lot of information/dick around on the internet all in one place... sadly, it is becoming like twitter now that it's conquered the myspace arena... *sigh*
• today is my last full day at my job... tomorrow, total half day (can't go over those 30 hrs!). i look forward to hanging with my Kat, getting down to business (apparently those papers WILL NOT write themselves), and finish the half-assed unpacking job from this weekend
  
• considering the possibility of dating again. if true, will have to stop cutting men off who approach me/spend more time outside of my apartment and the grocery store/possibly work up the nerve to ask someone i like out. *double sigh*... oh and also, must find repellent spray for men in their late 30s/40s hitting on me, especially the bus driver on my route home. no one my age is interested, but a dude clearly old enough to be my father... gross.
  
• need another bookshelf. i just got one!
• circling a pair of boots. really want to go shopping. fall is coming! really broke.
  
• want to go on a trip. too poor for int'l, but domestic... hmmm. sadly i also can't afford the bay. nyc is looking pretty damn good right now.
• in love with these hair care products: Oyin.
  
• must buy shoe goo. will not give up on those damn boots yet!
• in love with Nanami Cowdroy. must save money to buy & frame prints/see one of her exhibitions.
• currently avoiding someone with questionable academic morals. must find way to say to said person that i think they're an underhanded skeezer that i wouldn't let look at my grocery list let alone anything even remotely involving my work? there should be a google translate page to make harsh things sound better.
• trying to wrap my brain around a post on interracial relationships... too complex? relatedly, sean penn is dating jessica white? they met at kid rock's house? crazy!

that is all.

...crazy cat lady snaps back...

I've got a cat (refer to previous post). She's funny and moody and sometimes needy. It's nice to have a companion. I wish she would eat more. I like her.

Here's what I don't like:

Every time I tell people about my cat I get one clear warning: "Just don't get too many." Some people have said this to be funny. It's not. Some have said this in all seriousness. It's not that deep. They are all essentially saying the exact same thing: "Just don't get too many because you'll become the crazy cat lady." This implied statement is a few things: annoying, needless and cliched. But it is also two very important things: sexist and possibly homophobic.

In defense of my friends I don't think that they're trying to be any of these things. Nevertheless they are. So let's handle the issues.

First, when I say possibly homophobic I mean this specific to my situation. I don't think that every person who forewarns their friend not to become a "crazy cat lady" is also warning off homosexuality. It's just my friends... well mostly some family members. I think that because I don't date/am celibate/am not currently falling all over my cute next door neighbor/random guy at club etc, a lot of people in my life have always been slightly worried that I am gay... gasp. In fact one college friend greets me every time I see him with "you aint dating no women? you aint gay are you?" *sigh* So for these people who have felt this fear about me at one time or another, the fact that I adopted a cat was yet another check in the "she's gonna come out someday" pile... They feel like they've figured me out and they're a little worried at the revelation.

Apparently cats make people think spinster-living alone with my special "friend" Margaret and our brood of kittens/rescued feral strays etc.

Here's the funny thing. A lot of the people who've said this to me have or want to get dogs. Lesbians don't like dogs all of a sudden? (Ellen would beg to differ.) Why is it that certain pets carry specific stigmas... sexism!

There is no "crazy cat man," the weird cat obsession to which my friends are afraid I will fall is only for the ladies! [Side note: There are stereotypes that a man with (too many) cats is gay, generally effeminate, mentally disabled, a momma's boy, stunted, whatever.] In this dynamic if I get too many cats it will mean my eventual seclusion from society (and with my already spotty record...), I'll let myself go physically (I assume they mean mumus and wild hair), a general sour attitude (have these people ever met me?) and most worrisome... that I'll end up alone.

There won't be a husband to come home to, kids to get off to school in the morning, weekend soccer games, ballet rehearsals. There'll just be me, my cats and the ten o'clock news. Again, I think this comes from a place of well-intentioned concern that is... rude. It also makes me wonder how well these people know me.

Some facts: The probability of me getting married is about on par with peace on earth. I've already said that I want to adopt at least one child after 30 (partner or no), so if you think you're a feminist and haven't considered this possibility... I would reconsider. I hate the tv news. And, lastly, if I have a cat I won't be alone.

So here's what I'm advocating. If your fear is that I'll be alone for the rest of my life. Say that. It will warm my heart and I'll love you more. It will not, however, change how I live my life because I've found that one way to stave off an unhappy existence is to do what makes you happy. What I've done for the last 6 years or so has made me happy (even grad school).

If your fear is that I'm gay and in the closet. Say that. I'll almost certainly call you a homophobe for considering homosexuality something to worry about. But I'm open to listening to you defend yourself. But I will, as a warning, always look at you a little bit differently. And after that, if you're interested, I'll tell you that I'm straight. I've met a number of very nice lesbians over the years who've made me slightly sad that I'm not gay. And if I needed to be in a relationship so bad I would have made some concessions along the way. I have not however, which supports my grand point:

I'm happy. Single or otherwise. If I never get married, I'll still be happy. If I never have children, I'll still be happy. (Have you seen my nieces and nephew?!) If I end up in a house with a bunch of cats, I'll still be happy. Mostly because I will have made these decisions based on what I want and need, not on what anyone else thinks I should be doing.

So if you love me, please meet Kat.


She makes me happy. Support that, just as I try to support what makes you feel the same...

... random musings on reparations...

A lot of people don't know how to feel about reparations. I'm torn myself. I don't support the handing of money to anyone, least of all me (I'd have more shoes and shit than I knew what to do with in a heartbeat- I've got a problem). But I am in favor of spending much more money on Black communities to begin to fix the problems of the ghettoization of the Black people spatially, politically, educationally, economically, medically - the list goes on and on and on...

Anyway, most of my reservations about reparations seem to fly out of the window when I think about teaching it in a classroom and the likely responses I'll get. It's hard to imagine some of the things students say. I just want to shake my head and apply for a job at the bookstore.

So when a friend told me some of the things she's heard people say against reparations, one of the responses she got was that Jewish people have recovered from the Holocaust in such a short period of time, why haven't African Americans?

um...

That's fucking genius! Well not that idiot's comment, but the comparison that it sets up. In my mind I always plan to connect the Transatlantic Slave Trade to the Holocaust to help students contextualize the loss of life (condoned for a time by much of the world's community), racist violence etc etc. I hope that this more contemporary example will help them understand the tragedy. I don't know if it will though, but it's a plan. And as of right now, when I imagine teaching reparations I'm going to continue with this theme.

Should African Americans get reparations? I don't know, but the Jews got Israel so...

Side note:

All I ask is that if, by some (never gonna happen/probably shouldn't happen 'cause it'll be a racist clusterfuck) turn of events, Black folk get their own country, could we not rip the land from a settled people, go to war against them, their religion and the entire region, continue to steal more of their land, further impoverish them, treat them like second class citizens and then hide behind our own tragedy as justification for oppressing others... That would be nice.

*sigh*

...reading is sexy...

Books I love/am reading/will read

be forewarned: I have very varied tastes...

Fiction
Bastard Out of Carolina by Dorothy Allison*

Persuasion by Jane Austen*

The Street by Anne Petry

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte*

Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston*

Girl, Interrupted by Susana Kaysen*

Wicked by Gregory Maguire

The Witching Hour by Anne Rice

The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri*

The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown

Non-Fiction/History

A People on the Boil: Reflections on Soweto by Harry Mashabela

Ella Baker & the Black Freedom Movement by Barbara Ransby

Assata: An Autobiography by Assata Shaku

Black Power: Radical Politics and African American Identity by Jeffrey O.G. Ogbar

Claudia Jones: A Life in Exile by Marika Sherwood

The Body Project: An Intimate History of American Girls by Joan Jacobs Brumberg

Feministy Things

Scum Manifesto by Valeries Solanas

Black British Feminism: A Reader ed. Heidi Safia Mirza

Talking Back by bell hooks

Reading Now

Afro-Future Females ed. Marlene S. Barr

Summers at Castle Auburn by Sharon Shinn

A Bone to Pick by Charlaine Harris

The Nawal El Saadawi Reader

The River by Edward Hooper

For Their Triumphs and For Their Tears by Hilda Bernstein

On the come-up... eventually

Kindred by Octavia Butler

The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

What Looks Like Crazy on an Ordinary Day by Pearl Cleage

Daughters of the Dust by Julie Dash

White Rising: The 1922 Insurrection and Racial Killing in South Africa by Jeremy Krikler

Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri

Living for the Revolution by Kimberly Springer

The Montgomery Bus Boycott and the Women Who Started It by Jo Ann Robinson

Coming of Age in Mississippi by Anne Moody

Telling Histories ed. Deborah Gray White

All the Women are White, All the Blacks are Men, But Some of Us are Brave by Gloria Hull, Patricia Bell Scott & Barbara Smith

Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister by Gregory Maguire

I also read a lot of fiction online... some of which is better than stuff Amazon recommends... so if you're into popular fiction check out The Chamber. (My favorite authors are TokenBlackGirl and BlackMamba, but there are lots of good people writing on there...)

And because I love yall, I'm posting my shelfari bookshelf on the site. So keep track of my reading and maybe even join and be my friend (hint: Jean).

* denotes a damn good film adaptation... I liked Tom Hanks and The Da Vinci Code, but Angels & Demons ruined it for me...

... black cat nine lives short days looong night living on the edge not afraid to die...

I recently got a cat... she's cute, sort of standoffish, only slightly needy and possibly an insomniac. This isn't really relevant to this point, it's just that I could describe myself in the same way... This might be a match made in heaven.

Anyway... when I was looking for a cat I really only had one criteria. I wanted her to be black. I've wanted a black cat since I was little. My mother's birthday is on Halloween and she raised me to believe that all black cats are good luck for us (defying conventional wisdom). As a child this made sense to me but now... not so much. How the hell would a black cat be good luck for me? I wasn't born on halloween! Whatever... it doesn't really matter because all I learned from this was that black cats are cool!

So when I went looking to adopt a cat, this was the only thing I wanted. I ended up falling in love with Kat, the aforementioned cat (hehehe). When describing her I always mentioned her personality and then that she was black, with a bit of white on her belly. Actually, I describe her as "black, with a little bit of white that she can hide. like me!" I thought it was just a funny throw away comment until we were bringing Kat home yesterday and my friend said something about me even racing my animals.

I laughed because it was funny, but then I thought about it and I realized that... yea, it's totally true. So what can we learn from this kids?

1. I, and presumably others, look at the WORLD in a raced way. Sometimes we focus on how we race people, but what about how that translates in other ways? Now my very literal racing of my pet is one thing, but it happens in other, more significant, ways. For instance, all of my cousins wanted to own pitbulls and rots because they identified these animals as "acceptable" dog breeds for black men. (Cats were not an option.) Also my grandfather, and myself, tended to equate weird things with whiteness. For instance, whenever we saw little white kids throwing a full-on tantrum in public, cursing and sometimes hitting their moms, we would look at them and say "white people." And if you know me then you know that I still do this, so...


2. How does our racing of the world shut us off from having new experiences? Strangely enough, while in Target picking up cat stuff, my friend and I ran into a Black woman with cats. One of her first comments was that Black people generally don't like cats and she was shocked to see two Black people with them as pets. This is something that I've experienced a lot and it goes well beyond people's allergies (or faux allergies in my mom's case!). Most Black people I know just really don't like cats. I've also heard this about pets in general. I know a lot of Black people, older, who don't like pets at all. Well that's not true. Actually a lot of older Black people just don't understand the reason for keeping a pet. Now I'm not saying that everyone should like the felines, I'm just saying that why is that such an identifiable trend? What is the connection here between race and pets?


3. Is this a form of racism? I haven't thought this one out so much, but there does seem to be something about racing the world in these subtle ways that is inherently racist? or racialist? or wrong? Hell I don't know, I'm just thinking outloud here.

This has all been an exercise in attempting to think about race in new ways. And whatever the outcome to this whole situation I've got a cat... named Kat! She seems pretty awesome and she's definitely pretty as hell.

She's black. I'm black. We live in a Black world. Well at least she does. When I step out of the apartment things change drastically...